A foursome of Haiku for someone special. How do you like them.?

"the four seasons"



Summers wrath is heat

Teenage girls, heavenly treat

Night rescues the day



October loves me

Orange and rust colored leaves

Seasons are my lust



Winter goes too fast

Done before it even starts

Snow goes on it's way



Spring is fireworks

Reds and greens and daffodils,

Never go away.

A foursome of Haiku for someone special. How do you like them.?
I like. You might have to address the title since you used October instead of fall.
Reply:I like the 4 seasons. I felt and saw each season. I especially love Spring.
Reply:I like em.

You are talented.

Nice work:)
Reply:These are really good haikus, however if your 'someone special' is a girlfriend, then I don't think it says anything too profound. The haikus are just talking about seasons...
Reply:If this is for someone special, then I would recommend a different kind of poem, possibly a free verse. Also, if this is for someone special, then you should make it more about that person and less about the seasons. Yes, the seasons are beautiful, but the only "someone special" line was "Teenage girls, heavenly treat" in the first stanza. A free verse is a much better choice for a romantic poem to someone you care about.
Reply:i like it, it's really good :)
Reply:First two I like - I think because each has a a last line which is ambiguous.....you read it and start thinking, mm I wonder what that means?

But 'snow goes on its way', and 'never go a way' are banal statements, they lack that certain something.

(I do like the line Reds and greens and daffodils though.
Reply:Well, since I didn't see anywhere on there that they were for a special "girlfriend"...they may be for a male friend, or even just a female friend who likes the seasons. Every poem doesn't have to be for a girl/boy friend. So now that I am on everyone's thumbs down list. Good haiku's Steve. I hope your "special" friend enjoys them, I did. Thank you.
Reply:its not really basho is it?

it also, and i dont want to sound like a tourist, doesn't make that much sense.

Of course, the intended recipient may feel differently.

There may be lots of referances to things you have said to eachother in there, that i cannot see.

anyways, i do really like the "night rescues day" line. So resonant of a balmy summer night after the cruel heat of the day.

but thats about it.
Reply:it isn't that good. in fact they might take offense to teenage girls heavenly treat.
Reply:im impressed! (:



but if this was supposed to be for a lover, ("someone special") this wouldn't be very appropriate...



"teenage girls, heavenly treat"

and "seasons are my lust"

are kind of ominous lines....