Can someone please tell me if this sounds right for my report?

i have a report to do on a poem called daffodils but one of the things i have to do is rewrite a poem in my own words and i ran into problems with two lines here is how the where my problem is





Continuous as the stars that shine

And twinkle on the milky way,

They stretched in never-ending line

Along the margin of a bay:

Ten thousand saw I at a glance,

Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.



and i wrote it like this



as many as the bright stars

that shine in the sky

they go on and on

----along the striaght line------

---ten thousand suddenly appeared----

swaying their heads in a happy way



my problem is with the lines of along the margin of a bay and ten thousand i saw at a glance i dont really know if it sounds right or not

so does this part of my report sound right i does anyone have any other ideas on how i can make this sound right





any help would be great





thank

Can someone please tell me if this sounds right for my report?
How about:

and stretch by and by

10,000 stars, within my vision they lay
Reply:Ten thousand saw me with one quick look.

I dont know about the other line though...